backwards, from decay to sensuality..

...one day

so the move has happened...in ditching the old obsession, the pedastool falls from under it and allows me to look at it from a mean perspective (ref. a poem "infatuation" by Jewell-It's meant to be about people, but for me and in this circumstance it is about that dream art project of melted crayons and compressed powder sculptures, powdered car mandalas that float away-well basically all of the temporal works I was going to get in to.)
it caused me to re-evaluate all of my work. the figures...blahh..too literal. the masking, yeah great but everything is looked at from a neutral perspective, distant and 2D. Even if i were to start these sculptures, the ideas are still as 2D as a painting, they are looked at from a distant 'observer" perspective. cold distant, moralising at a 't' and they are that too, mortalising.

who wants that, as an old french boyfriend would say "pfff"
well a young french backpacker. correction

I am doing a 360, or to keep in touch with my contradictions same same but... approach its still kind of the same fascination. so 360: from death and vanitas, temporality etc to sensory/sensuality life and so on. I want the perspective to meld into the experience. instead of having levels of language/visual codes describing/filtering, say the experience of looking at the moon, i want the artwork to operate without that 'layer/densensualisation'. to look at the moon without describing. removing thought. so instead i want the sensuality...the senses: touch sound: the opposite of some of these existentialist headaches I become obsessed with or in some ways, settle for.

It is harder to work with what is here rather than what we can invent. I am exhausted and tired of the overstimulation of my imagination. and quite lonely because of it. it is not a good alternative to life.

My friend Thomas works with a question as his title for his shows. interactive, taking away the observer to the participator role from the onlooker right from the start line. this is normal for installation objectives (pardon the wrong word)and he does quite well with it. He works in Sweden, filling gallery spaces with untastable foods...lovingly hand crocheted fruit, icecreams. all one could desire,unlimited by your imagination, but with no taste. and of course many more evocative pieces.

we are working on a show together for next year...and we were going with the play idea again...invention and so on...me the temporality angle was the thing. not anymore.

tonight i am caved in with canvases and glass and frames everywhere. Although I am happy enough with the resolution of the paintings, I am taking this show (3 weeks away)to be a cleansing of my system from the limitless imagination. i never finish anything, i just keep starting new things. like the messy sequence of dreams. the headache of matrix-style greed and silly answer to desire. or brain farts

i turned my snakes and ladders painting upside down tonight and it was no longer trivial. it was always promising to be trivial. but now subtley optimistic. and I painting over a boring old existentialist escape/imagination painting into a melting, spraypainted garden of eden/paradise with golden apples and golden skulls, and every bird/flower labled with a number. I felt much better. containing it under glass was even better still. trapping the imagination. objectifying the subjective world. escaping stupid escapes. stopping